my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

I have yet to see There Will Be Blood (2007), but the buzz surrounding a certain line Daniel Day-Lewis's character, Daniel Plainview, utters has reached my ears. Actually, I should clarify something first: I have never heard DDL say, "I drink your milkshake. I drink it up." Not even in character. What I mean to say is that I've learned that this might be the next big cinematic catchphrase. 'Tis a shame, really, because it is so much better than "I see dead people" or "I wish I knew how to quit you!" I know this to be true despite the fact that my one reliable source about the film (read: Stephanie) has seen it but she can't even remember when Plainview says it, to whom he says it, and under what kind of conditions he says it. Oh, but that is neither here nor there.

Josh Ozersky's blog entry/rant/editorial/whatever on New York Magazine's website was pretty funny. It really inspired me to come up with a reason why we should repeat the line. Again, with what circumstances is quoting the film not just logical but also appropriate? Well, I think I stumbled upon the answer a few minutes ago.

First, a little background: I was just chatting through Gmail with Stephanie. She's been feeling under the weather for over a week now, so she was telling me about the latest developments with regards to her health and well-being. Anyway, turns out that she needs help applying some ointment and bandages to her first degree burn. (Don't ask, it's too embarrassing.) Lucky for her I will be arriving in L.A. in two days. Then again, she was lucky before, too, because I was already scheduled to help her clean her apartment.

You're wondering where this is headed? I'm getting there.

When she told me I'd be needed to fulfill this second favor, I said, "So I'm the cleaning lady and the cabana boy."

Stephanie then proceeded to, I think, do some variation of a line by Catherine O'Hara in Beetlejuice (1988): "You like it." (I presume this was her intention. Not only does she know I like to repeat the line "He likes it," I think she might also like to say it, too. Again, it's hard to tell because getting inflections across through typing is only ever moderately successful. Depends on the context of the situation.)

Here's the big deal: in response, I said, "You're right. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up." What I meant by this phrase is that Stephanie's treatment of me (making me her cleaning lady and her cabana boy) is, for lack of a better word, exciting. I bask in her glow. I make a toast to honor her dominance over me. Oh, this is not sounding like I want it to.

OK. So if we step back a bit, what I mean to show is that to drink someone's milkshake is to surrender something to them, to concede a point, if you will. For example, it could happen if there is a bet between two people. Person No. 1 says, "How much you wanna bet I can dunk this ball in that bin 100 feet away?" Person No. 2 then doubts No. 1 can achieve such a feat. But what do you know? Person No. 1 is successful. Now is the right time for Person No. 2 to use the phrase. "OK. OK. You did it. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up."

See, "milkshake" signifies essence, talent, idea, whatever. But it's got to belong to someone. It's a good thing when someone drinks your milkshake. I realize it can sound selfish, like someone's literally grabbing your strawberry milkshake out of your hand. Or it can sound menacing, as if the person who says it means to humiliate you even more, rubbing it in your face how bad you are at fill-in-the-blank.

No, no. This phrase must be positive, not even self-deflating or humbling. I doubt it is positive in the film, so let us rewrite the line and transform the film as its consumers. I drink your milkshake, There Will Be Blood. I drink it up.

up-to-date randomity

1.) Anyone else think The Primitives "Crash" should have played throughout the end credits of Crash (2004)? It'd have been funny, and perhaps we'd like something about the movie then.

2.) I just recognized there aren't many words with three Us in them. Isn't that unusual?

3.) Anyone else underwhelmed by the films currently out? Will the movie season get any better? Eh. I'm eagerly anticipating I'm Not There (2007) because you know how I hate the conventional biopic; Control (2007) because it's about Joy Division and I want to see how it compares to 24 Hour Party People (2002); and Atonement (2007) because... well, for obvious reasons.

4.) I came out as queer to a class I was teaching, about the diversity of LGBT people, cultures, and issues. My fellow Q&A panelists weren't expecting it, but I don't think they were shocked.

5.) I don't want to wait till next fuckin' summer for the second season of "Mad Men" (2007-present). Tuesday means the season finale of the other show I have been committed to watching since its premiere: "Damages" (2007-present). 'Bout time. It's a bit too drawn out. But I like it.

6.) "Pushing Daisies" (2007-present) is too cute for words. I want the complete series of "Wonderfalls" (2004) on DVD. Right now.

my eyes are ready to pop out

I have cried so much today. All because of words.

I don't mean that my tears have challenged the whole "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" thing. I'm not talking about insults. Instead, as I chose my words very carefully and listened much more closely than I usually do (which is close), I couldn't help but notice the power of words. I called someone out on what he had said (and had not said) earlier in the day, when he did not come to my defense as I was being attacked by someone much more close-minded than I am.

I explained to this friend who "disappointed" me that just the utterances of words, though they are just a combination of sounds with meaning, carry extra weight, especially in situations where you want to hear someone as clearly as possible so as to better understand what is happening.

What has happened to me today--hell, even for the past couple of weeks--has made me cry, but it's the way everything is delivered with cutting words, a sharp tongue. Diction and the expanse of one's lexicon has never been so significant. They're so influential they have made me cry. Over and over. Because people continue to hurt each other with what they say whether or not what they say is what they mean.

serial killer

I play the Hangman widget a lot. Should I feel guilty that I didn't feel guilty when the word was "homicidal"? And I couldn't help but notice the connection when the word was "decapitate." Only the head is the last--not the first--body part to go in the game.

it's the little things in life

I was just thinking of some things that will be difficult for me to change once I return to the States in nine days (that includes the day I leave because I will spend most of it in the UK or in the air). Here's a preliminary list:

1.) It's instinctual now for me to walk on the left. Might bump into people more often than usual.

2.) Writing the date. Have to reprogram myself to write the month first, the day second. I think the US should just adopt this other way I have grown more than accustomed to. Everyone else in the world writes the date with the day first, the month second. Having said this, when I read a date I have to remind myself that in the US they mean November 6th, not June 11th by "11/06."

3.) I say "at the weekend" now instead of "over the weekend." Neither one makes any literal sense, but I like the sound of something occurring "at the weekend" in the past. Does it go over the weekend? Having said this, I do not use "fortnight." That's just stupid.

4.) I haven't seen American money in eight months. Because all the bills are the same color and size, I will have to pay extra attention when paying for anything in cash. Would hate to give 'em a twenty when I only mean to give a dollar. Having said this, I miss the quarter.

5.) When I see the prices of things, I have to remind myself NOT to double the number. That is the price. It will no longer be worth twice as much to me. Having said this, I will miss that the VAT is included in prices. I will no longer be able to go up to the register with the exact change unless I calculate and add the tax beforehand, which is not likely to happen. Ever.

I'm sure there is more. I'll keep 'em coming.

seeing, smelling, feeling

Men make me giggle. Here are some examples of why they do:

1.) At the cafe yesterday where I enjoyed some Earl Grey and a white chocolate fudge-covered biscuit, the Turkish man behind the counter asked which size I wanted for the tea: large or small. I asked to see them both to gauge the difference.

"This is large."

"OK. And what is small?"

And then he smiled, "Me." I immediately thought, he's not advertising himself well. English is not his first language I am guessing, but I would think in every language a man would rather be large.

2.) I smell like men's perfume. Some call it cologne. But let's face it, the guys who do not spray Axe/Lynx all over their bodies but spray something on them nevertheless like to smell pretty. I wouldn't call it musk.

Anyway, the guy next to me on the bus smelled a bit fruity. And just a half hour ago, a neighbor who is leaving today hugged me (shocker!) and basically smeared it all over me. I smell like him now. What a souvenir.

3.) On an episode of "Rome" (2005-2007) that I watched last night, Lucius Vorenus (Kevin McKidd) was complaining to friend Titus Pullo (Ray Stevenson) about how his wife won't let him "couple" with her. Is she just angry at him? Is she not satisfied? To summarize, Titus suggested Lucius find the g-spot. But, as this is ca. 50 BC, there wasn't an exact word for it.

What is the best bit is the look Lucius gives Titus. "How do you know this about my wife?"

"Chill, Lucius, all women have them. Trust me."

i was the lead in a german comedy-drama

I got back last night from Germany at approximately 11.10 pm. I did a lot in four days, but I didn't make it to Cologne because we were too tired. I apologize that I will not be able to report on Cologne. Actually, I apologize in general because I do not have enough hindsight to really reflect on the experience just yet. It was different because I couldn't read or speak the language but somehow also familiar because the city landscapes weren't exactly what I had imagined. But the country sort of was, with wind farms everywhere.

In the meantime, while I wait to truly reflect on my trips to Hueckelhoven, Herne, Maastricht, Aachen, and Duessledorf, I want to list a few things. Oh, how I love lists.

1.) My listening comprehension of German has certainly improved, almost by leaps and bounds. Before, I could only ever understand my friend Denise when she speaks German because I am more familiar with her voice, speech pattern, and sense of humor to get the message even if I don't understand all of the words. But listening to her speak German with other people, I was able to understand them, too. More and more each day. It even got to the point that while watching The Constant Gardener (2005) in English, everyone, especially Danny Huston, sounded like he was speaking German. I was too used to hearing German.

2.) Having said this, whenever I couldn't understand what was going on or just wasn't paying attention, I felt like I was in a German movie without subtitles. Every conversation was in German except for private ones with Denise and two others, one with a woman who was willing to speak with me at a party and another with an English family friend of Denise's. Generally speaking, whenever I said something to someone other than Denise, she would translate because ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch.

3.) I now understand why all the Germans I know here miss German bread. It is hard to describe, but it is truly wonderful. Crispy, savory, fresh. Besides the bread, all the food is good, especially the ham.

4.) Speaking of food, I have had more German (and Dutch) food in four days than I have had English food in the seven and a half months I've spent living in England. I've had pork schnitzel, bratwurst, printen, apfelschorle, bowle, some Dutch cheese thing, Black Forest ham, some Belgian ham, etc. etc. Go to Germany for the food alone, the cheapest in Europe.

5.) The Autobahn. When I first heard that when there are speed limits installed, the highest is usually 120 km/h and that Denise has gone upwards of 140 km/h, I thought, "Wow!" Being in the car when she was going that fast didn't feel like, say, 120 mph. I think 120 km/h converts to 75 mph. Will say that I only ever felt like we were going very fast when I first arrived, in the black of night. Also when cars would pass. Even in the rain, people drive very fast, but I never felt unsafe. Germans may have the Autobahn and the Dutch may have stricter limits and give tickets more easily (Dutch drivers are slow in comparison), but they're no Italians or Parisians. They do not drive like maniacs. I repeat, they do not drive like maniacs.

I think that's all for now.

listen, i feel very passionately about this

I absolutely hate the phrase "fair enough." I absolutely hate indifference in language, whether it is the use or the meaning (or both) that is indifferent.