if i were a number, what number would i be?

Stephanie took the Enneagram test by OkCupid, so I thought, why not I? This test, which Stephanie found was spot on when it called her an EIGHT (aka "The Asserter"), proves that we are not exactly the same. I'm most of what this says a FOUR is. But I don't know why we're called romantics. I'm not romantic. Just because I like Jane Austen doesn't make me romantic, does it? By the way, I comment on my results in italics.

My score on The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test: 4 - the Individualist

My Enneagram type is FOUR (aka "The Romantic")

"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

* Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. Only when I deserve them, please. And yes, they do mean a lot to me. So much so that I won't forget even the littlest one.

* Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. Please.

* Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. I guess this could refer to my hyper-observance?

* Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. True dat. I much rather laugh than cry, I think. I mean, I cry a lot. Whether it's because of a movie or just because I'm thinking about sad things.

* Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! Why? Because I already know this.

What I Like About Being a FOUR

* My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level. Uh, I haven't found the meaning of life. 42 didn't work out.

* My ability to establish warm connections with people. There's only a few.

* Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life. I dunno if I do that.

* My creativity, intuition, and sense of humor. I don't consider myself creative or intuitive. I don't think I am funny, but I get things.

* Being unique and being seen as unique by others. I have to admit, this is pretty important to me.

* Having aesthetic sensibilities. I do like the aesthetics of things. I do.

* Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me. I'm not very intuitive, but I think I can tell when someone's feeling happy or shitty. Or uncomfortable.

What's Hard About Being a FOUR

* Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair. This is the worst of it all.

* Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved. Or maybe this is the worst.

* Feeling guilty when I disappoint people. I do, yeah.

* Feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me. No. It's the other way round. I feel misunderstood when someone hurts or attacks me.

* Expecting too much from myself and life. I think this is how people close to me see me.

* Fearing being abandoned. Yeah, but I don't freak out too much when it happens. I get over it. Eventually. I'm used to it by now. But I still hate it when it happens.

* Obsessing over resentments. I obsess over everything.

* Longing for what I don't have. Not materialistically. And not spiritually. I just want to be happy.

FOURs as Children Often

* Have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games. This is a tricky one. I don't think I had a particularly active imagination as a kid. Except I did and still do pretend my life is a movie. This, however, did remind me that I invented a stupid game based round a large circle with numbers 1-30 in it painted on the asphalt at my elementary school's playground. There was nothing we could do with it, so I invented a game. That almost no one played with me.

* Are very sensitive. True dat.

* Feel that they don't fit in. Uh-huh. Still feel this way. Probably always will.

* Believe they are missing something that other people have. I'm not a particularly jealous person.

* Attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc. I don't hero worship.

* Become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood. I dunno.

* Feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce). Yeah.

FOURs as Parents (If and when I become a parent...)

* Help their children become who they really are. Definitely.

* Support their children's creativity and originality. Absolutely.

* Are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings. Always.

* Are sometimes overly critical or overly protective. Probably.

* Are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed. Jury's still out.

From:
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper
San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages