i don't like my job either, gregor

Tomorrow, I promise, is Kafka day. I will continue with the new additions I encountered this afternoon, I promise. Having just stuffed myself (and wanting some more oreos), I just don't have the energy to work through these new Kafkaesque thoughts.

Until tomorrow.

a little taste of home?

I rarely ever eat them when I am at home. And when I do buy them, I buy the reduced fat kind, but of course those do not exist here. It is a wonder I can get the regular kind. They're an American novelty. A lot of people I know do not know what they are, and if they do, they have never tried them. "Oh, they go with milk, don't they?" Commercials have given them this much information. So that they may never try them for themselves. Why would you when you have milk chocolate digestives?

The only way to buy them is in a small package (59p at Sainsbury's) with four individually wrapped packets of four biscuits each. I'm sure we get twice as much in the packages at home. And I cannot for the life of me find the nutrition information anywhere. The ingredients and storage instructions come in ten languages, though, so that is handy.

Now I am going to taste them to see if that is any different. The verdict: much more cookie than cream.

Oh well. An oreo's an oreo.

happy birthday bobby carlyle

You're awesome. I don't know what else to say.

this is an autograph by me

Now this is embarrassing, but I am going to tell you about it anyway because I've been thinking about it. I recently rewatched The Terminal (2004). I still have many problems with it, but I found it moving again. In any case, the end credits feature everyone's signature. It's good because if you should write in to the Tom Hanks or Diego Luna fanclubs, asking for an autograph, you'd be able to tell if it was real by comparing it against these signatures at the end.

As for the point of this post? I'm getting there.

Watching the signatures get filled out, I was reminded of how I really don't like my own. So I reverted back to seventh-grade behavior and started signing my name all over pieces of scrap paper, attempting to find a newer, cooler way of making my mark.

The best one I came up with--and it's unfortunate I can't duplicate it here--featured the "L" and "X" of my name reaching down together, at different angles, very nearly meeting each other. And the "C." that is my middle initial floated as some sort of quarter moon above each of my names. The last name didn't change much.

it's all gone, gone, gone, baby

I shaved my head today. You know how much I hate my hair. Recently, it had gotten to the point where I couldn't stand to look at it in the mirror anymore. I'd go to sleep hating it and I wouldn't be able to think about anything else.

It's longer now than I have usually had it shaved in the past. F8 instead of F4. It's cute. I'm very happy with it. I went to three places before someone agreed to shave my head. First, it was a barber shop. If I were a man she would have done it for £5. I guess it's against the law; if they have a business that caters specifically to men, then they cannot work on women. The next one said she wouldn't have time to do it today, all while her receptionist, who was quite dumb really, was looking for a name and price list for what I was asking and suggesting I do something else. The last place, which is where I got it done (and funnily enough it was a Hair Cuttery, which is called HC UK here and I only noticed this after I got my receipt), originally said £20. ("It may take 2 minutes, but it's the length." Um, no.) I bitched and scritched, so I got it for £10, which was the most I was willing to pay.

Sorry to have bored you with this, but it is always interesting to me to see how people--especially women--react to my decision. Denise said she was "impressed" and that she could never do it. A hairdresser called me "brave." I told her, "I've done it before. And it's the best haircut." You don't have to worry about it anymore. No more frizz, wind, blow-drying, etc. Will admit that sometimes there is bed hair. Sometimes some parts will stick up and will be hard to flatten out, to pad down.

A few days ago, when I sent an email to my father and Stephanie about how I was thinking of doing this, even going so far as to transcribe my pro/con list from my journal, my father replied back, saying that such a superficial change couldn't change my attitude, the way I feel about myself. I agree to a degree, but I do believe that a change of clothes or hairstyle can make you feel good about yourself, which in turn changes your attitude toward others. I smiled a lot more today, and I suspect it will continue.

sunshiny daydream

It is so damn nice outside. I just got back from a stroll round campus. I walked to the other end just to recycle a glass jar of peanut butter. Remember, I just discovered I can't recycle glass with the rest of my plastic bottles and jugs.

The sun is shining, people are out. It's just so pleasant, but I don't know what to do in such weather. It's not like I'm athletic or anything. And walking round campus? I can't tell you how many times I've done it. I might walk into town tomorrow (never done it) to go grocery shopping, pick up the new issue of Sight & Sound and maybe NME because this is England, and shave my head.

In the meantime, I think I will watch a marathon of movies.

First up: Wet Hot American Summer (2001). It's not summer. I'm not in America. It's not hot. It's not wet, but it seems appropriate for the mood that the sunshine has brought in to me. I want to laugh.

Next: Little Miss Sunshine (2006). I do like this one after all. I just don't like the juggernaut it became. It's feel-good, funny, and leaves you all warm and fuzzy.

And after that: Who knows? Bride & Prejudice (2004) maybe?

I just want to see people in sunshine. It's a simulation of what I've actually observed today and cannot see myself taking part in. But I will pull the curtains open and let real sunshine come through. Oh, it can improve moods.

non-commercial = gay?

Listening to at least three RadioIO stations, I'm pretty familiar with their commercials. I'd list the most regularly played (there are only four), but that would be doing them a service.

I just heard an advert I'd never heard before. It started with something to the effect of: "You've proven you don't like commercial music, so why are you still watching commercial movies?" Then it went on about the virtues of independent cinema, about how it can change your life.

Curious, I visited the advertised website, and found something I really wasn't expecting (they got me!). They specialize in gay and lesbian films, which is not hinted in their name or in that sound bite I heard. They look like they're direct-to-video and a little too over-sexed, I might add. I'm not a prude or homophobic (me? yeah right!) but just admit it: there's a certain style in marketing such films, and they've got it full-on. It defines their image. I should write a paper about this...

but i heart these guys

This isn't exactly laugh-out-loud funny but it is cute:



It's a parody of the Lily Tomlin-David O. Russell on-set spat I directed to you a while ago. Here the brilliant Paul Rudd takes Tomlin's place, and Michael Showalter is over-the-top as Russell but still not quite as over-the-top as Russell himself was. "I Heart Showalter" is part of an upcoming episode of "Michael Showalter Showalter," according to the website I swiped it from, but I cannot find evidence of its existence elsewhere (i.e. IMDb).

Must say that the funniest bit is a play on Michael's name. "Go fuck your sho(w), Walter." Classic.

By the way, I cannot believe I have finally broken down and embedded a video in my blog. I guess I did it because if I "directed" you to it, you probably wouldn't go, especially since out of the gate I called it not "exactly laugh-out-loud funny."

thank god he met rachel

I just read this in the celebrity news posted on IMDb, or what Stephanie calls "The Bible" just because we read it everyday (not because it is the gospel truth):

Gosling & McAdams Plan Flash Engagement-Wedding?

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are secretly planning a flashy engagement party and wedding ceremony - on the same day. Sources tell Us Weekly magazine the stars of The Notebook are planning to keep their nuptials top secret - by marrying hours after agreeing to wed. An insider says, "They want to get engaged and married on the very same day to keep it very private."

OK. Now I understand they're doing this because the date of the event(s) will not be released, in effect keeping any paparazzi from spoiling it (but who cares about their coupling anyway?). However, if this is true, doesn't their announcement of this kind of plan announce their engagement anyway? Their intention to wed? So just cut out the engagement party and have a wedding party. We already know you're engaged.

i was looking for salvation

Fuck RadioIO80s. I recently heard Jay call it "RadioIO80sPop." This makes sense since RadioIO80sPop is no longer listed as available. This means they got rid of RadioIO80s because I was the only person who listened to it. What I don't understand is why they didn't just get rid of RadioIO80s from the list. It's a bit confusing, no?

Well, I had wandered onto RadioIO90s and it's just awful. I'd say I didn't recognize about 50 percent of the bands and songs played. The stream host, whose name I do not know because I hadn't spent as much time with him as I have with Jay, must have really liked 311 because that was the only band that was ever repeated. And all their shit sounds the same to me, anyway.

Where am I now?

RadioIOEdge. I suppose it's their indie station. So far it's pretty good. I'm going to stay here for awhile, but I have to tell you that the mumbling radio one of my neighbors (the only one I truly dislike) is blasting is driving me mad. I can't even tell you what language it is in. I think I need to get out of here, anyway.

Please, I don't want to be miserable anymore!

let's call the whole thing off

Thank god for libraries, that is all I have to say.

After days of writer's block, I spent about six hours in the library, brainstorming for this essay on the narrative perspective of "The Metamorphosis." Afterwards, I was even brave enough to write by hand the whole damn thing. Now all I need to do is type it up and edit, edit, edit.

I know what you're thinking. Why didn't you just go to the library all those days ago if you knew it would help you work? Well, it was closed for about five days for the Easter holiday week(end). I had to wait just to sit inside, to get away from my computer's multifarious distractions and to get away from the bed whenever I felt depressed or bored.