Thursday, June 7, 2007

cannibalism for the stars: coming soon to your tv!

In the celebrity news on IMDb, I just read "Affleck Feeds the Poor." A little disappointed it wasn't about how they chopped him up (in a wood chipper, maybe?) and featured him in a three-course meal. I would have loved to say Lindsay Lohan was the main course, but she's a bit bony. Like little chicken wings. She'd be a starter, for sure.

Who would be dessert? Someone sweet, but if someone is sweet, we really shouldn't eat them. Not because we're worried about cavities. But because we want to keep them around.

In any case, wouldn't this ridiculous and in no way serious story have been more newsworthy (and less cringeworthy) than Affleck's volunteering at a Boston food bank? Yay, you.

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