the f word

I have had enough.

I have had enough of people coming in my room, noticing the poster on my wall, quickly turning their heads, and never addressing the fact that I have a giant picture of a woman's bare chest on my wall. The novelty, of course, is that she has "Obsession" scribbled across her chest, her nipples substituting the O's in the word. I got the poster at the Design Museum (the only cool thing in London, if you ask me), and it is an old advertisement for a play entitled Obession and Fantasy.

I understand it makes me look like a lesbian. (And the poster on the opposite wall from the Gay and Lesbian Archives doesn't help either.) And it is polite not to ask someone about their sexual orientation. But why wouldn't someone, who probably knows I am straight, say, "Hey! What a poster you've got here!"? What are they afraid of?

The meaning the poster has for me is best explained in relation to a particular visit to my room. Last week, my misanthropic college residence officer (he's a bit like a landlord, but there's more bureaucracy I have to deal with than just him) and his assistant came in my room for a "room check." Basically making sure I haven't broken anything. I was not expecting THEM to do this; I thought this petty task had been contracted out. And I knew there was a possibility that my room would be checked (the selection was random, I am told).

Oh, they noticed the poster. Of course they didn't say anything. I understand they were there under official business, and that whenever they see me, they might remember "lesbian" in relation to my room number, but their not looking at it after noticing it proves my point: as I can assume they're straight, the poster is addressing their obsession and fantasy about the female body. What better way to say this than have it written on some (small) breasts? Can't you look your fantasy in the eye? What is there to be ashamed of?

Therefore, you can see where I am going with this. I see the poster in a very feminist light. And so that I am not misunderstood and taken for a lesbian, I have edited the poster. Oh, no, the tits still show in all their glory, but I have written in block capitals (a la the title credits of Dr. Strangelove) "FEMINIST." So dirty.

I should add that I merely want to stop being interpreted as a lesbian. (This is not new to me.) I do not think it is fair that someone with an interest in queer issues, comfortable enough in her own sexuality, should be thought of as something she is not. And I understand that I just add fuel to the fire with a poster from the Gay and Lesbian Archives especially, but I am also challenging stereotypes. And for the record, being a lesbian--or even called one--is not a bad thing, but it is not me.