oh fuck it

I'm gonna have a party.*

I get the sense that it's not very cold today. I was sweating a bit yesterday walking around Lancaster, often carrying my coat. It will turn very cold at night, as it always does, but I am going to not wear my coat and instead wear my favorite piece of clothing: my adidas France jacket.

I haven't worn it since September. Not just because of the weather. I was--and to a degree, still am--afraid I would be mocked or insulted for supporting France in England. (I would imagine if I wore a Portugal jacket it would be worse since they kicked England out of the World Cup last year.) I figure now, what could they do to me? People already hate or dislike me or feel so disinterested in me that they won't even say "hello" or acknowledge my existence when I am talking to their friends.

Besides, I have done stuff here that most don't understand/like/approve of, such as my haircut (it's a long A-line 'do), my "Obsession" poster, my constant wearing of my blue winter cap (I feel like a Wes Anderson character, or a cartoon: always in the same thing), my not going to the pub EVERY night (who has that kind of money?), and my being open to discussing queer sexualities, to name but a few. So who cares anymore?

* No, not really. I rather quote this Nada Surf song, "Blankest Year," to demonstrate my little rebellion.